Thursday, January 8, 2009

Well bugger me...

Well this is either a place to ponder or some kind of show-off diary - since no one reads it then its probably a bit of both. Figured I had better get some typing practice in before the inevitable return to wwww... wwahhh.... ah feck it - see other post. As it happens I've had to hit the backspace key around 300 times in the last two sentances... crikey. I suck.

I'm killing a bit of time as I'm off to a friends soon for sun, pool, wine and opera. Me opera? Absolutely... it seems after at least 2.4 bottles of something I know ALL the words. I rock at lipsyncing the ole opry... awesome. A talent held by very few I suspect. It is an amazing experience though I must say - my darling friend - gorgeous thespian from way back - has a delightful bohemian style of which I suck up like a leech in a popular watering hole. She even has the velvet cloaks of which we bust out, under the burn of candles and act out the heartwrenching scenes twittering through her distorted minisystem. Oh I can see your eyebrows rise from here. Yes it does sound slightly quirky but I tell ya its a helluva lot of fun and fantastic for the soul... but you'll never know. The opera appreciation society for lipsynching non-sopranos is a private club and the chances of you actually seeing it in action is little to feck all.

So that's what I have to look forward to today - which is awesome. Been a little lonely this holidays to be honest. Maybe its an age thing. Maybe I need to get hitched. Maybe my defiance for the horrendous idea that is nuptuals and marital bliss needs to be squashed a little. Living for so long as an independent has given me a rather stiff and cynical opinion of the idea of wedded bliss. Its distracted me from the more important element of the blessed union of two people... TWU WUV. Maybe 2009 will melt this heart and I will meet the entity that is the M.O.M.D. What's that mean you dare ask? Man of my dreams of course. I have to lay off the piss though because if the recent men in my ACTUAL dreams are involved in this future I am quite frankly either developing early-set senility or just screwed.

Must away... pop into the offy for the obligatory opera-invoking juice and head into the delights and peace that is the Waitakere's... but before I depart... there was action in my small suburb yesterday... more action than just drunk teenagers smashing the bus stop for the upteenth time or a 'drift' that went horribly wrong and wiped out the neighbours fence (that's him 2, me 1). No no... for some reason someone decided that playing with a 'crossbow' in a small cramped western suburb in the middle of a scorching hot day was er, fun. Until the mechanism exploded 'unexpectadly' it was reported and the crossbow bolt flew smack into the eyeball of the next-door neighbour who consequently has had surgery and they are not quite sure whether she'll still have sight in her eye. The shooter... immediately called the coppers and dobbed himself in. Much excitement.

Well I've just heard from my opry buddy who is running late... typical when I've been ready since 9am. So I might have to dribble on for some time as it seems now I have an hour longer to kill that anticipated. In saying that... I'm a little peckish so I might sign off and go eat some highly unsatisfying lettuce leaves.

I trust the whole 'lonely', 'marriage' thing goes no further than us... besides I was just rambling... chances of me actually doing something that ludicrous are a million to one... like the aliens from War of the Worlds which is probably where the M.O.M.D is currently hanging.... freakin mars coz he sure aint here on earth and I've turned over many a West Auckland rock in search of. If you are out there MOMD and you just happen upon this wee literary delight... please get in touch, I appear to be in my prime and have let my guard down slightly when it comes to defying marriage I'd get in now mate... come the feck on honey, I have the attention span of a natt. Whatever that is...

And to you, my no-existant reader... If you by chance have seen the MOMD... give him a kick up the arse for me, tell him to grow some chesnuts and get on with it because once he does... he'll never look back, he'll wonder what the feck took him so long and of course...we all know what a lucky man he'll be :-)

Okay I'm off to cry into my mesculin then go fake opera. Coz that's how I roll.....

xxxxxx

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