It's the final countdown...

Ugh.

I'm trying desperately not to to let it seep into the pores of my last few sun-soaked days of vacation but its a seemingly IMPOSSIBLE task... I shudder at the mear thought of typing the word so I won't... but it starts with W and rhymes with ... sherk. Which is exactly what I would like to do... sherk it. It seemed so long ago that I was thinking - wow... what a lovely long holiday... what shall I do to pass the time... now there is sheer panic.. "FAA-AA-AAAAA-RK!!!! I still haven't [insert any random 'I'magonna' line spilled last year when repeatedly asked "ssoo... wotcha gunna do over the break?"

I did nothing I said I would. Nadda. Silch. But I HAVE had a fantastic break. Only a slight sunburn... coupled with the extra pounds that exploded through the infinite canal that is my throat... makes the undies a wee bit wedgyish but hey... what can you do huh? Its the holidays... the kiwi lifestyle - catching up with friends you had full intentions of catching up with for the last 6 months but it was either 1) too cold 2) too wet 3) to dam wintery 4) too busy leading up to crazy season 5) too busy with all other offers leading up to crazy season. So what do we do? "Oh come on round, bring a bottle.... or 3... or a magnum plus a back-up... or 24 lion reds and a dozen woodys... Yes thanks to me being such a crap friend through the year I have succeeded in being greeted personally by all 56 staff members at the local offy. Awesome. Am a pisshead with a big bellie - BUT have golden tan and we all know that brown fat looks better than white fat so I feel ever so slightly triumphant.

I didn't make any New Years resolutions this year. Not publically anyway. I would just let people down - especially myself and I just can't take that kind of self-fladulation (is that how you spell that word?). Not during the hangover days anyway. I guess I will continue to be the surprising, slightly freakish, spontaneous rebel that I am and try like fark not to take the buttholes of this world too seriously. I'll try going a bit 'national geographic' and 're-discover' myself.... but whether that sticks will remain to be seen. I do have a few 'hopes' for this year... which I'd be happy to share with you... [echo echo]

1) Date
2) Fall in love
3) Try not to wet pants when sneezing.
4) Remain brown but not just to disguise fat
5) Laugh lots and lots and lots

Hmmm... looks doable. Let's see shall we???

Lotsaluv and squdges
xxx