The Big reTHiNK 2012 - Best Director, Vikki Cottingham "Mad O Phobic"
A bit of a 'toilet tribute' from my fantastic cast...
Full blog of blubbering to follow... but I'm a wee bit lost for words right now... it's a bit hard to talk through this shit-eating grin that is a permanent fixture... pig in poo people, Pig. In. Poo. :-)
Okay I've calmed down now... well no not really hehehe... aww mann! What an awesome way to ice an already sa-weeet tasting cake!! I humbly and honestly thought that this would go to another person on the night... and I'm almost positive I wouldn't attempt a 'poke, snatch and run' ... almost... :-)
But they called MY name.
A little westie nuthin' much from suburban Glum Eden won a people's choice award for a job that most don't really understand and that had nothing to do with "AM-DRAM" but a professional production with a phenomenal message performed in DOWNTOWN AUCKLAND at the stunning Q Theatre. Far out that is quite trippy when I type it out loud :-)
I tried to accept the award on the night with poise, elegance and grace but in true Westie style I squealed like a banshee and then promptly started leaking out my eyeballs and nose and exclaimed loudly into the mic "holy shitballs!"... dammit.
I couldn't help it... this meant so MUCH to me... and I don't mean just the beautiful hand made sculpture trophy (which is amazing), or the shiny gold badge that has my name (even spelled correctly) on it... but this WHOLE EXPERIENCE. From the moment I typed "Okay I'll do it" to 3.30am last Sunday morning when I said goodbye to the final few left standing of my new friends this has been the best experience of my life. I get still get this teary, well of massive achievement inside when I think about the last 6 weeks and what was accomplished by so many people from so many backgrounds and walks of life.
It had everything...passion, commitment, empathy, hilarity, comradory, professionalism, support, talent, uniqueness, dedication, belief, pride and an immense amount of love and positivity and every single person involved in it or watching it felt exactly the same and part of it. It was a truly amazing show.
So now its time to fall back into normality (hahaha - inside joke) and back into the daily routine and beejesus its pissing me off!!
After feeling so good about everything and it also being Mental Health Awareness Week AND Awareness Day today... I felt a bit lost. Almost like I needed a big cuddle from all my reTHiNK friends again. The 8-5 is SUCH a drag.
Let me try and explain a bit of my post-production emotional turmoil...
Lets see... well, its like wearning a comfy outfit that you feel totally sexy and secure in and then being forced to put on an ugly school uniform that make you feel fat and insignificant... you know you HAVE to wear it...it just doesn't fit. I work to live - that's my uniform. Don't get me too wrong, at the 8-5 its cool and there's heaps of neat people, great mentors, challenges and mostly fun stuff to do and I enjoy it... but I long to wear my comfy clothes most of the time, heck all of the time! Or, even just a little bit of the time... I just wish it was possible :-)
Its also a bit of a self esteem thing... I've been high as a kite on excitment adrenalin for over a month and almost kaliedoscopic all of last week so theres' got to be some kind of a come down... a withdrawal. Its just such a shame because I felt such joy and absolutely confidence. In who I am, what I can do, my heart and my mind... I wish I could have bottled the feeling, honestly it was wonderful.
But that's all part of MY personal challenges... and I take too much general human ignorance to heart :-)
So I must accentuate the positive!... What did I do for Mental Health Awareness day to make someone happy and smile? Well I cooked a yummy dinner last night... first attempt at Chicken Chow Mein from scratch, then baked a Carrot Cake - again a virgin experience - and shared them both... no one died (hehehe) :-)
Everyday I stop at the same coffee cart parked at the Church on Donovan St in Blockhouse Bay and Mikayla, the barista who makes the BEST trim mocha's in West Auckland, is there, rain or shine, greeting every customer with a smile, a free coffee now and then and even free brownies for her regulars just because she appreciates their business.
Mikayla is from Romania, her husband is a chef currenlty dabbling in DIY and they have two small children and they are the nicest people in the world. Lately Mikayla has felt a little down, not sure of why and has shared how upsetting it is for her. Maybe it is the pressure of saving for their trip back to Romania later this year, having to leave their home, the children's school and friends or just that thanks to hubby her kitchen pantry exists in her wardrobe - that would bum any girl out :-)
I remember a few of my darker days where just her smile and "how are you beautiful lady" would bring tears to my eyes and she'd come over to the car window and rub my arm reassuringly. I don't know why I felt it was okay to show my feelings to her but her warmth and sincerity just comes across so effortlessly.
So today, in giving back to the energies of karma I took Mikayla a piece of my carrot cake. It had rolled around in the container a bit... smooshing the icing all over the place which blew my MKR-style presentation... but she accepted it with great joy (like I'd handed her... oooh an 'award' or something!) and exclaimed:
"Oh 'fank you!!! Caallot Cake is my favorilit and I did not eat-a bleakfast today so I gonna eat it now!!!! Oh vat is so luffly of you!!!" - yep... just the same as when I gave her my shopping stickers for free glasses - immense, genuine joy.
Cool aye? Two strangers... both see each other for a maximum of 5 minutes on weekdays... both shared pain and joy.... coffee and cake :-)
Hope you get heaps of hugs today and you have a happy heart tomorrow :-)
Lots of squdges
[The AWARD WINNING...]
Stylz
xoxoxoxox
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