Aw hiiiii....
I'm a bit low-vibe today - need someone to give me a good kick in the pants and say "cheer the hell up ya big fat sookie bubba".
No don't... I might cry.
I can see why kiddies throw tanties. I'm becoming more in touch with my childhood through my adulthood you know. (Well isn't that what we're SUPPOSED to do? Geez...) and I was a twisty panty tanty-thrower as a kid. Partially because I got teased... A LOT and also because I was alone... A LOT.
Here's my philosophical pitch for the month - BOREDOM is a BITCH.
I'm so quiet its driving me to age. I can feel new wrinkles forming, veins swelling, bladder collapsing, a mysterious puffing sound which can only be evidence that my reproductive system is turning to dust - powdered eggs anyone?
My sense of humour is stretched to the point I'm feeling laughter could come but it would be insane scary lady laughter AND the situation would only be hilarious if I could actually punch someTHING not just someLINE.
People are annoying me unnecessarily - I'm not sitting here rubbing them up the wrong way.... ohh no I am quietly minding my own gaddam bidness but the respect is hardly retaliated and I can't escape the feeling of...wait (searching literary banks for something deeply profound... ah fuck it) - Shittyness.
Its like the smelly man that walks in front of you and past you 10 times at the supermarket and you almost vom each time but you can't do anything about it because for some reason he and his BO-tainted-bod be going where you going just coz they can.
I think of these little downfalls and potholes in my daily grind as 'mini-karma-fish-slaps'. Yes when that little somethin-somethin you messed up ages ago probably when you were pissed or hungover OR... pre-menstrual hungover AND half pissed is coming and paybacks a bitch.
Yeah I hate mini-karma-fish-slap-Fridays.
I'm constantly reminding the Karma Hall-monitors wherever the hell they are in the universe about various little and big deeds I've done through my life and that I'm not that bad a person and don't really deserve the Karmic Corporal Punishment of "thou shalt be surrounded by fuckwits today so there na na na na na naaa" but all-in-all shit happens.
Maybe I've cancelled all my 'she's a good sort' moments out?
What if that day I... paid-for-that-guys-coffee-because-he-didn't-have-any-money-and-just-changed-a flattie-and-it-was-Monday-and-he-deserved-something-nice-to-happen-day... has already been cashed out on some dumbass thing I did eons ago that I probably don't remember and quite frankly could potentially not give a flying monkey poop about these days?
What a waste of some fecking good Karma. I'm disa-freakin-pointed quite frankly and I'd like to see the manager of the mini-karma-fish-slap department...
"I'd like to see a copy of my file please to figure out that joke you call your freakin scheduling software if I may... I think its puckaroo bro..."
"Ya dropped me in it mate... for the sake of a wee swear word in 1977?!... where's your sense of humanity? Ya messing with people's LIVES and ya just don't care..."
Oh crumbs. I must be in a bit of a mood... I sound just like an overheard conversation at WINZ.
I better go... finally the shifting of the guard time has come and the bone-crunching grind of today slides with a clunk a creak and a squirt of dirty oil into the next phase of the evening... and that's just me getting off my chair and walking to the car.
I do hope though that I haven't pissed the mini-karma-fish-slap Friday department off too much and there's free-flow traffic on the Sou'Western. Love you guys... keep up the good karma :-)
(Sheesh... might be a little too late to suck up now)
Wish me luck and the best of British to you :-)
Stylz - stomping - out.
Xoxoxox
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