I am soo very sorry. But then again I don't even know who I'm apologising too... I don't even have any followers on this thing. Which is probably quite convenient given the dodgy subject matter.
Sooo it has been... what? MONTHS since I posted last... crikey I suck at this. Funny thing is when I do come in here and spill the beans I love it. Its like everything that makes someone feel good in life... why can't we keep it up? Oops scratch that, didn't quite come out how I mean't it to... or did it.
Things have changed considerably in my world. Love found love lost love sucks and damn I apparently "do single well". O for orsum. I think. I don't know is that a good thing or a bad thing. All I know is its the NOW thing. NOW it works... ask me again in 6 months and we'll see how I actually RATE it. Hehe.
Don't get me wrong, I actually like er.. 'dating'. I enjoy it. What I don't enjoy is being changed or finding it hard to breathe. I'm not afraid of small spaces but I can be likened to a trapped rat if I'm chased into a corner with a well-meaning broom. Why is it also that we close our world off when we are supposidly in a position where it's supposed to shine? THAT my friends is what I miss. Where I slip up and come a-croppa. When those long-time smiles aren't around and all of a sudden I'm trying to impress people I don't even know - some relatively lovely people too, but most just bodies and faces that share their own pasts of which I cannot relate and generally don't want to... but I'm a nice girl, so I pretend. I'm an actress so the challenge is to ensure every stranger thinks I'm awesome. To make the other half look good. Aren't I freakin considerate? No wonder it drives me mental. What drives me more mental is I knew this all along but it took me the best part of my young adult life to realise it. So! I embrace spinsterhood with a new lease on... ME. How profound and fricken grown up of me. Let's see how long it lasts. HA!
On a lighter note (yeah that's enough soul searching reporting for now!) I had a wonderful weekend away. Cambridge is a nice town - not that I see much of it as my friends are all vampires and the nightlife is where it all happens. I have never laughed so much in my life - and I ALWAYS meet a new friend there - someone cool, someone different, someone who shines even more light on my short but pleasant time there. It's fast becoming my escape capital of the world :-) Coz its so much fun and it makes me feel... comfortable and, ah, (hehe) cool.
This time down the line I met a really interesting person, a writer, someone with a story to tell that may not be to everyone's taste but [in this world] that everyone should read. Not only interesting but a right cheeky bugger that had me in stitches and working very hard and one-upping the one-liners. It was fun as well as enlightening. I think I have found a new friend. I hope so anyway. Fun times :-)
Had another stint on the street too... quite fun - this time I think I really nailed it. It felt great during the process and I was happy with the end product. Maybe this telly thing is starting to fit after all :-)
Right you bunch of nobodies, I'll leave you to it. Whatever you're doing, wherever you are. One day you may just materialised but until then - make sure you're content. Whatever you're doing and wherever you are.
Peace out
Love
Stylz xxxx
No comments:
Post a Comment