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Raro-Glow October 2013 |
How do you like the look of my new fancy schmancy blog then? Pretty ain't it...
Okay,okay, alright, alright... I know what all (one) of you is thinking; "Happy New Year? Happy NEW YEAR - bloody rich coming from you missy who left us in the lurch since April two-thousand and fricken THIRTEEN!!!
I have been overwhelmed (okay twice) with requests for new posts – apparently some of you sneaky peekies think I’m funny. Right – cheers, no pressure!
Look I’m just gonna be straight with you all… it has been quite a year… no I haven’t had a boob job, tummy tuck, botox, colonic, hip replacement, more babies OR a toy-boy footing the bills and cooking BUT… I have had a “LIFE LIFT”.
(Life-Lift –ooh-err…That literally just came to me. I am awesome. I should patent it before someone thicker than me but more photogenic runs with it and makes a bajillion bucks in 27 minutes. A-holes.)
Anyhoo I digress (nothing has changed in that respect). Yes I have successfully lifted my fantastic life out of the crapper and into the light for the first time in about 3 decades… not pretend either – for real.
Although I’m now forty-ish with the attitude of a 20-ish but the intellect and maturity of a fricken amazingly hot, proud, Westie (ageless) mama… I feel completely in perspective.
There’s something empowering about embracing your perfect imperfections (not mine that one unfortunately but I do like it). The frame of mind is clearer, chest is relaxed, sleep is undisturbed, the twinkle is true, the laughter from the belly, a bounce in the step and it’s a bloody nice place to be.
And people have noticed.
“You’re looking…well…”
Crikey. Did I look that sick before? Is it just my tan because brown fat looks “more well” than white? I thought when people said “you look well” they are, in the nicest most passive-aggressive way referring to you being slightly on the flubber side of fabulous. Junky trunky… wobbly bits, more bumps and humps than Atkinson Road but brown so ‘totes confusing?’ to the superficial eye.
Or… (and this is MY preference) does my positivity emanate so bright that it strikes them dumb (or dumber), like a full-on angelic halo where they just cannot find their tongue from their toes. I’ve never been described as beautiful really – not in a supermodel, playboy, blow-your-mind-as-well-as-your-paycheck-amongst-other-things sense anyway. ‘Cute’ maybe at best…So my best guess is that I am literally now blinding people senseless with a radiation of awesomeness and inner beauty. Yes. Yes I like it… it certainly takes the taint off the “you look well” comments… “Why thank you!! I AM!!”
So…for you voyeuristic sickos… my year in review – condensed and edited for television naturally
1) Whooping cough epidemics contracted – ONE
2) Embarrassing bodily dysfunctions whilst suffering whooping cough – NO COMMENT
3) Trips to Hawaii – ONE
4) Whale-watching experience of a lifetime – ONE
5) Moments serenading Humpback whales with voice unlike that of Kiri Te Kanawa - ONE
6) Wheelchair rides off international flight due to flu caught IN Hawaii – ONE
7) Valentine’s Day 2013 fail – ONE
8) Breakups that changed my life – ONE
9) Dating too soon fail – ONE
10) Poetry reading success – ONE
11) 40-hour Film Fest - ONE
12) Trips to Rarotonga – ONE
13) Rides on big block trikes – ONE
14) OE Trips confirmed and paid for – ONE
15) Christmas Grinch successfully annihilated – ONE
16) Not-my-finest-moment-moments – TWO
17) Positive outcomes from said not-my-finest-moment-moments – TWO PLUS LICORICE ALL-SORTS
18) Mono-ab – ONE (refer previous posts if you are a newbie to Planet-Vik)
19) Christmas pressie ideas nailed – MULTIPLE
20) Wicked R and R over Christmas weeks – almost THREE
21) Positive vs Negative thoughts – OH THOUSANDS
22) “You look well” comments – WHO CARES
23) Menopausal onset freakouts – NONE! SOME... A LITTLE BIT... MAYBE... OR NOT... *FLUSH*
24) Suspicious menopausal hairs appearing on chin – ONE (but I got the lil f*cker)
25) Special people blessings – infinity plus ONE
26) Blogs completed – ZERO. Fail.
27) ENGAGEMENTS!!!!.........................
None.
Made you look - hehehehe
I won’t leave it so long next time I promise… I have some spectacular shit to share so please, watch this space, tell your friends and remember:
If you can’t be good – be quiet!
Oh and Hippy Burpday Mum xxx
